I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry about my life...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
