You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
