So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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