Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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