Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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