i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
