I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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