who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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