What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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