i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
