Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
