I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
