God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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