u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
