Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
