Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
