It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
