Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
