I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
