We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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