The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
