Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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