How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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