Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
