K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
