I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
