i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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