EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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