adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
