ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
