And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
