He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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