so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
