You can't special order awesome
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
