do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
