where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
