Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
