i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
