Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
