Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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