Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
