I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
