I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
