worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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