I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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