Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
