So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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