What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
