We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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