bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
